Guest

Maverick computer-based media The Internet has caused controversy this by declaring diminutive sex goblin Prince “over.”

“Prince is like MTV,” says The Internet, 21, of Bracknell. “At one time in 1986 it was hip, but now it’s just full of adverts and videos of girls in thongs. MTV, I mean. As far as I am aware Prince isn’t full of girls in thongs. But he is over. Over.”

The Internet, who made its fortune in animated dancing cats in the late 1990s says that Justin Bieber is the new thing.

“Justin Bieber is the new thing,” it added. “Anyone will tell you that, as long as they’re female and fourteen. Yes, Prince can play 80 instruments but is he trending daily on Twitter? No. Exactly.”

Former wrestler Prince – real name Terry Prince – has declined to comment.

“I decline to comment,” he commented.

Reporter: Warren Street